Tingly Mind
Empowering life and relationship advice

Tingly Mind is an online publication that offers empowering life and relationship advice. Our content is geared towards women in general and heterosexual women in particular.

After all, regardless of gender, we serve the people who value security and stability in life. If you want to become a solid individual with healthy, meaningful relationships, you’re at the right place.

What we can do for you as a writer

I’m looking for writers with insight and passion.

In return, I can help you improve your writing and increase your chance of curation, which translates into views and earnings.

You’ll receive direct support from me, Ellen Nguyen — I have 5+ years of writing experience and have produced many popular pieces on Medium that bring me 4-figure paychecks every month. …

Any privilege associated with being a woman seems to be a double-edged sword.

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Growing up, I received many mixed messages about what it meant to be a woman.

My goal, as a young girl, was simple: I wanted to be loved.

But I didn’t really understand what I had to do to be loved, especially when my own father practically abandoned me a long time ago.

He instilled in me the insecurity that, no matter what I did to be loved, it probably wouldn’t work. When I was a bit older, as a result, I struggled to relate to men romantically. I didn’t know how to be good enough for a man’s love.

That helpless feeling followed me throughout my young years and became a driving force behind my (misguided) decisions in my early twenties. I was fixated on power, thinking that if I couldn’t be loved by a man, then I wanted to be powerful — more powerful than a man. …

The insights I gained after accepting my partner’s proposal

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Source: Pexels

Before meeting my future husband, I was never sure If I wanted a serious relationship or marriage.

In hindsight, it was because the people I dated were never good enough for me, meaning we were fundamentally incompatible. I was also not good enough for myself — my life wasn’t where I wanted it to be yet.

Later when my future husband asked me to marry him, I was in a very different place — saying yes felt natural and fulfilling.

In fact, everything we did together felt natural and fulfilling; any future talks were pleasantly expected. There was no question about our love for each other and where we were heading together. …

Don’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.

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Photo by Baylee Gramling on Unsplash

You’re probably familiar with the advice, “Don’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.”

Several studies have found that going to the supermarket on an empty stomach leads to not only buying high-calorie groceries that are bad for you but also overspending on the items you don’t need.

One of the reasons is self-control— hungry people are more likely to grab instant food that satisfies their cravings than to buy healthy ingredients and spend time cooking a proper meal.

In a nutshell, they make bad decisions that they often regret later.

The same logic could be applied to dating.

If you use dating apps when you’re lonely, you’re likely to pick unsuitable people to date. …

Jealousy is natural. Untrustworthiness is not.

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Photo by Alex Green on Pexels

My college boyfriend cheated on me with my roommate.

It started out as an innocent friendship that quickly evolved into an inappropriate relationship. They were together all the time. Watching movies in my bed while I was at work. Hanging out in her bedroom with the door closed for hours, refusing to come out. You get the point.

I don’t mind my boyfriends having female friends. In fact, I was relieved he had a new friend that wasn’t me. But, back then, they crossed the boundaries that I wasn’t comfortable with.

When I raised concerns, he was more interested in taunting me for my apparent jealousy than acknowledging or resolving the issue. He loved that I was jealous, and he wanted to make sure I knew it. …

Quality over quantity.

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Photo by Igor Érico on Unsplash

What is “intimate”? It means familiar, private, and personal.

To have more intimacy in your relationships is to build close, meaningful, and deep connections. It makes you healthier, happier, and more fulfilled, especially in the long run.

When you’re young, you might care about being popular and having as many social media followers as possible. You prioritise your study and career before everything else, even at the expense of your relationships. But your perspective changes as you move through different stages of life.

When you get older, your need for meaning and companionship increases. You realise that intimate relationships add a great deal of value to every aspect of your life, and you want them. …

A practical guide to communicating your needs and boundaries

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

You probably have heard of the advice, “Respond, not react.”

It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to follow. And if you fail to do it, it can leave lasting consequences, especially in romantic relationships.

Romantic relationships are painfully fragile in the early days. But even between long-term couples, enough communication issues can lead to devastating breakups.

It doesn’t help if one partner suffers from an insecure attachment style or anxiety when dating — like I did.

I wasn’t just reacting, though. I reacted terribly.

Worse, sometimes, I didn’t even react at all — I just let things slide and pretended everything was okay even though my boundaries were violated and I was deeply hurt. …

How a couple worked on their relationship together despite having different love languages

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Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash

This is the advice my college therapist gave me after listening to me cry in her office about unhealthy relationships I had no plans of abandoning.

That one phrase made something click that changed how I view my previous painful relationships and how I navigate current ones.

My previous relationships were riddled with a dependence that I had failed to recognize or acknowledge. My feelings relied on my partner’s performance in our relationship.

Being the unhealthy relationships they were, I was permanently sad and exhausted because my needs weren’t being met.

I thought it was more important to meet their needs than honor my own. If I became their ideal girlfriend, if I made them happy, everything would be perfect. …

A logical explanation and a practical solution.

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Photo by Vinicius Wiesehofer on Unsplash

There are many reasons why a person might have a low sense of self-worth. Regardless, it can negatively affect every area of their life.

They might not put themselves forward for a promotion because they don’t think they deserve it. They might sabotage themselves in relationships because they believe they’re destined to be alone.

Even when they’ve achieved great things and surrounded themselves with great people, deep down, they feel like a fraud. They’re worried they’ll get exposed at any minute and lose everything they have. There’s always something they need to do before they can proudly be themselves.

In a nutshell, they don’t feel enough for themselves. …

Reward actions, not words.

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Photo by ErnAn Solozábal on Unsplash

In the dating world, future fakers are people who sell the idea of a future to get what they want in the present.

If you’re looking for a genuine, serious relationship, it can be incredibly frustrating and painful to fall victim to a future faker.

They come across charming and keen and know just the right things to say. They lead you to believe that you’re the world to them only to drop you at a drop of a hat when you’ve become attached to them.

You have no idea what was real and what was fake. You end up getting hung up on them and making excuses for their behaviours while feeling foolish for letting them treat you that way. …

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